Audrey's Meraki

The red at dawn has awakened  My wretched soul still weary  I force a smile on my face Hiding every ugly scar merely  I deeply conceal the emotions Whose burden I can no longer bear A heartache which is incurable It’s a truth that’s blatantly there  Thoroughly fatigued by the dread Which stubbornly sits within  The battle is to surrender  But to hurt you, would be a sin The subtle content you show  When you look at my smile  Infuses the only will to live Making all sorrow worthwhile  To never show you my scars Is a secret I cautiously hide  So worry leaves your thought Believing the grin perfectly wide Everything that’s now left  Is loneliness and none  A tiny hope lives by because  You are all and only I own Your existence in my life  Is a solemn wish unknown As the purpose to survive  Would be worthless alone - Audrey. C

The tension builds up When you match my glare  I feel the adrenaline  Rushing through the rare I don’t need to converse  Your admiration speaks The spark is unarguably pure  Evident through my rosy cheeks  I let you invade  With your ardent gaze Reckon it to be dangerous  Immersing in your presence  The addiction is real That lies in your eye I lose myself to you  C’mon, I cannot just lie You blur everything around  The raw chemistry is insane It lits continual sparks Now I can’t myself refrain  I see you so close  I’m forgetting how to breathe  My pulse is acting silly  With the butterflies stuck beneath You leave your fragrance  I don’t need to figure out how  You just make me feel alive  That’s what matters now!  - Audrey. C

Any place that she would go She would fill it with laughter The one that blooms flowers And a vibe you’d chase after  She could fade out your greys Painting them in all colours new Though her own world darkened  That nobody even knew She’d love you in ways unknown With depth you have never imagined That could be talked in metaphors And undying hope would’ve aligned If you ever asked what she loved It would only make you smile She religiously bred the idea Of making life around worthwhile  If her only presence in your life  Be a tiny cause of your defeat She’d vanish without you knowing And you would accuse her of conceit You would never know what she feels You would maybe not even ask You will never understand the hiding  That comfortably sits behind her mask She’d leave without a reason To save you from the terrible mess You’d believe you were just fooled  And she’d choose being called heartless  - Audrey. C

Do you still think of us When you go to places we’ve been Feel the love we left there  And happiness we felt within Do you still think of us While the radio plays our song Recall how we sang the lyrics  While you drove along Do you still think of us When you watch movies we’ve seen  Sigh at the scenes we cried together  Arguing at what they’d mean Do you still think of us Look at our silly pictures Relive those precious moments  While your heart ruptures  Do you still think of us Remember all the stupid fights  Then conversing on forgiving At 2:00 am in the midnight! Do you still think of us When the nights get colder Reminisce the way we cuddled Laying my head on your shoulder Do you still think of us While you’re low and alone  Remind yourself you’re loved The way I would’ve done Do you still think of us Beyond the wrath of unspoken fears Then dive deep inside your heart...

You stained me forever  In a deeper shade of love  Then pushed me away  With a subtle delicate shove  I got used to being The only one you loved I confided blindly  In the way you vowed  You left to never return I couldn’t ask any why  The love gradually faded  Without waving the last goodbye  I’m lost and withering  With each passing night  And forgetting you now Seems to be the hardest fight I solely prefer the world  Immersed deep in my head Where our fairytale exists  With the love almost dead Imprisoned in an illusion  Of my consciousness  On the debt of your love I’m in a terrifying mess This depth of raw emotion  That none can greet Holding a gaze so unwavering  That is hard to meet Lost in dark corners of my mind  Exhausted by the bitter pain I disguise it with a constant smile Writhing in silence but not complain...

She’s the ink that never fades Running through her veins That fills in blank pages  And remarkably forever stains She writes paragraphs that rhyme On hope, love and laughter  And about those heartless many To whom she did not matter Penning down poetries Made both of love and hate Crafted with sheer emotions  Of people she once met Thousands memories of each That are carved on her heart Whether they stayed for a day Or for years and had to part She writes to hoard feelings  All kinds, bitter and sweet  So whilst she’s left lonely She can revisit and greet These poems are a home In which her soul finds the light To wrestle those demons That torment her might  For what it’s worth Will she always argue  Hoping someone someday  Will write about her too!  - Audrey. C

When the cold breeze blows And darkness surrounds In the empty corners Your thoughts embrace around  Can you teach me? To keep your thoughts away And fight the struggle  To answer questions I weigh I’ve heard people wish  on a faraway star I too believed in the myth  For you, I was on a war Can you teach me? To not wish for you  On every falling star Underneath the sky of blue All I wanted love to mean Was a thousand versions of you You left and taught me Idea of love isn’t meant to be true Can you teach me? To not love all of you  And find those scattered pieces Of my heart that you threw Come, teach me now To unlearn things that you taught To not feel, feelings you gave And forget memories you brought  Teach me everything, Till all my sorrow is gone To free my captive heart So you won’t be my last resort!  - Audrey. C