Audrey's Meraki

While you were desperate  To fix all of the broken Your own hands shaking  Which you couldn’t reckon You sealed every wound  Of ones you saw around  While your own still bleeding And were awfully downed You wore beautiful smiles When smiling really hurt Just so no one would worry And grappling pain wouldn’t blurt You gave all your affection  With every promise vowed  It was never any worth In the eyes of your beloved You suffered it all alone  Crying yourself to sleep  While no one noticed The way you would weep For not loving you enough I earnestly apologise  The dark you’d succumbed I never did realise  In all of these trials  You don’t have to plea Even amidst your solitude I have you and you have me I’ve chosen you now In a faithful start  I’ll love you deeper  Than any other human heart  - Audrey. C

Unthought of in many ways While sorrow would easily invade Never did I foresee the magic  living towards the third decade Abiding by these scars Where I restlessly lay  Aching to be discerned  As every dawn turned grey The poise that you held amidst the consuming chaos Astounded by the kindness  Your bounteous heart envelops Your presence healed my soul That had always been on wars Planting tiny seeds of hope That bloomed flowers on my scars You’re a cocoon of warmth In this young world of mine  I’ve found you as my solace And undying hope has aligned  Every subtle shade enriched In a myriad of ways anew That makes the horizon beautiful  Now, reminds me of you  - Audrey. C

When my heart is heavy  I look up in the night sky  The world seems beautiful  Each time it seems to mystify  The thoughts that gnaw Seem to slowly subtly fade  When I gaze at the stars Glint hope by the sky’s shade  The urge to feel again  the love that has worn Thinking you were one I’m once again torn I still dream of a world With only you and me This thought, somehow  Does not set me free When you needless say  I cannot have you This you know, isn’t  Meant to be true  My wounds are fresh With that ache inside I’m stumbling in the dark Still wanting you by my side  I want to rewrite our stars In utmost gravity of my heart Where you will forever be mine And nothing could let us apart!  - Audrey. C

Despite the storms That furiously crept in  One after the other  Intenting for breaking  She stood against the odds  Fighting, upright tall Not for her sole self But for ones who planned her fall To only receive in return From each one who came across The utmost and unbearable  Heartbreak, pain and loss Unaware about the purpose To fade away her smiles Hidden in their hearts To dull the spark in her eyes Giving everything and her all Kindness still was never born None of her love mattered Like watering a dead thorn Been scarred and victimised   With cruelty and cowardice  Drowning for their disloyalties  Fragile heart and vicious lies Every sleepless night  Abiding by these scars She still appreciated darkness  and was deeply fond of stars Just like the falling star Abandoned from the midnight sky To wove incomplete dreams And fix every sad sigh Her li...

I revive those nights  When our lips were close I could feel your breath On the tip of my nose  The way you stared at me While clasping onto my back  I knew we had our little infinity  Now destroyed, in a moment’s knack My soul was on fire With that gaze in your eyes The love that it contained  Was nothing but lies  You were like the river  Never ever still Never mine to have  Never here to last  For you to be mine  It would require you to stay Which was never your purpose  Did it have to be this way? I had believed in your love  The sugar coated lie Naively and steadily  Never asking any why Scattered like the jigsaw  With its missing puzzles  Are all of my feelings Amongst my heart’s scuffle The darkest pain now buried within my eyes Is the love for you Far greater than the skies - Audrey. C

The demons are awake Retracing my fate I’m killing myself In a slow debate I think of the times My anxieties would rest When all of my face was  Buried in your chest Do you see these scars  That your love has painted I crave to heal them As they were never been tainted Your kisses now adorn Every inch of me on bound  They comfort me on nights When you’re not around  I want to look at you  With a distant longing  To find my heart, the peace Your smile used to bring  Now that you’re gone and I don’t know why But that very thought Still makes me cry Will there be a time? Somewhere down the line Where I don’t have to miss you Or consider you as mine My heart had been misguided To think you’ll be there Now there’s an enormous void Deep deep down somewhere  In this night’s embrace  I console myself  If you’re okay  I’ll be okay too  - Audrey. ...

The pulse has ceased  On a unusual pace Staring at the wall In a closed space  Feelings collided In a confused maze Mirroring the mess by a moist gaze The silence of the midnight  Has cornered around  I only hear my heartbeat  In the dim light, I’m downed A Hundred things to feel Thousand words to say Yet feeling speechless Till dawn of the first ray Suffering the paranoia  Has made my soul ill  The numbness of my heart I reckon could kill  In depths of my fears I dive through this grey  To see every bit of happiness  Quietly fade away. -Audrey. C